Dating someone your friend slept with: A rule you should never break

Dating someone your friend slept with: A rule you should never break

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Dating someone your friend slept with – A rule you should never break. We all have a few rules when it comes to the dating world – don’t date a coworker; don’t date someone your friend has a crush on; and, probably most importantly, avoid, like the plague, dating someone your friend slept with or has had a past relationship with. 

Dating someone your friend slept with: A rule you should never break

Unfortunately, this is one of the rules that people love to break. Whether it’s because you’re drawn to their ‘forbidden’ nature or you’ve been single for too long, dating someone your friend has slept with is never a good idea. In this blog post, we’ll explore why this rule exists and why it’s important to follow it. 

1. Respect Emotional Boundaries & Demonstrate Maturity

One of the foremost reasons for adhering to this rule is the acknowledgment of emotional boundaries. Relationships, whether they succeed or fail, carry emotional weight. Dating a friend’s ex could potentially reopen emotional wounds, create discomfort, and potentially damage the friendship. This is why dating someone your friend slept with is a no-go in the rulebook of friendship. This includes ex-partners from your friend group as well.

Adhering to this rule showcases your maturity and understanding of social dynamics. It shows that you value your friendships and are considerate of the feelings and sensitivities of those around you. So, imagine for a moment how you would feel if your best friend did the same thing to you. It doesn’t leave a good taste in your mouth now does it? You just label yourself as immature and irresponsible among your friends by tarnishing forever your image. And for what? For a temporary fling. 

2. Avoiding Unnecessary Drama & Preserving Trust

Dating a friend’s ex often comes with a baggage of drama. It can lead to conflicts, jealousy, and uncomfortable situations within your social circle. By respecting this rule, you contribute to a harmonious social environment where everyone feels at ease and drama is minimized.  After all, no one likes to have in their social circle a backstabber, right? Joking or not, this is a serious issue because, without knowing, you’re invalidating your friend’s circumstances and what she went through after separating from her partner.

Trust is the cornerstone of any friendship. Dating someone your friend slept with could shatter the trust your friend has in you, making it difficult to rebuild that trust in the future.  Apart from the fact that it is kind of gross if you think about it, there are still more important things that will get lost along the way. Like your friendship and you being no longer trustworthy in the friendship community. Upholding this rule preserves your integrity and solidifies the trust your friends place in you.

3. Preventing Betrayal and Disloyalty

Dating a friend’s ex can be perceived as a betrayal, displaying a lack of loyalty towards your friend. It can make your friend feel as if they have been betrayed and that their trust in you has been violated.

This betrayal may cause them to question their own judgment when it comes to choosing friends and could even lead to the end of the friendship altogether. It sends a message that you prioritize your desires over your friendships, which can tarnish your reputation among your peers. Preserving this rule helps maintain loyalty and prevents any potential feelings of betrayal from surfacing.

4. Maintaining a Supportive Network

A good friendship network offers support during both good and bad times. Dating someone your friend slept with can strain the network and make it challenging for friends to rely on each other during times of need. Adhering to this rule ensures a continued supportive network. It also helps maintain good communication and trust among friends, which are cornerstones of strong relationships.

It’s not only a sign of respect for your friendships but also provides a sense of security in the knowledge that there is an unspoken understanding about how you should conduct yourself around each other. It can be difficult to resist the temptation of dating someone you find attractive, but it’s important to remember that maintaining loyalty and respect among your friends is essential for strong and lasting relationships. Ultimately, if we abide by this rule, everyone will benefit in the long run.

5. Avoid Uncomfortable Social Gatherings & Prioritize Friendships

Imagine the discomfort at social gatherings where your friend’s ex is present, along with your friend and yourself. In order to prevent discomfort and tension among all parties involved, it is best practice for everyone to stay away from such gatherings or at least agree that dating someone your friend slept with is not a good idea. This can create a tense and awkward atmosphere, making it difficult for everyone involved to enjoy the event.

Valuing and nurturing friendships is essential for a fulfilling life. Friendships sometimes last even longer than some relationships. They’re your support system. Now imagine if you destroyed such a support system by dating someone your friend slept with. It’s a nightmare scenario. So, by choosing to respect this rule, you prioritize the longevity and health of your friendships over potential romantic relationships that may be temporary.

6. Fostering Healthy Relationships

Maintaining a sense of ethics in your dating life is fundamental to building healthy, long-lasting relationships. By following this rule, you demonstrate the importance of integrity and honesty in relationships, setting a positive example for others. This is one of the many reasons why you shouldn’t date someone your friend slept with. It can cause a major rift in your friendship.

No matter how mature you are, seeing your friend with someone you used to be intimate with can be extremely uncomfortable. It’s hard to let go of those feelings, and even if you try your hardest to do so, it can still be a difficult and awkward situation for everyone involved. Besides, there are plenty of other fish in the sea – it’s not worth risking your friendship over.

7. Promoting a Culture of Respect and Empathy

If you do decide to date someone your friend has slept with, consider each and every one of the potential consequences. How will this affect your friendship? How will it affect your future interactions with this person? It’s important to take a step back and really think through all of the different scenarios that could arise.

The bottom line: if you’re not willing to deal with the potential issues that could come up, it’s best to avoid pursuing someone your friend has already slept with altogether. At its core, this rule promotes a culture of respect and empathy. It encourages us to consider the feelings and well-being of others before pursuing our desires, fostering a community built on understanding and compassion.


In the end, while the world of dating can be complicated, respecting the unspoken rule of not dating your friend’s ex is a crucial aspect of maintaining healthy friendships. It’s about acknowledging emotional boundaries, preserving trust, and demonstrating empathy and maturity. 

Upholding this rule not only showcases your integrity but also contributes to a society where friendship and understanding are cherished above all else. Remember, a healthy and respectful friendship is a treasure worth preserving.



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